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What's happening at Skye
June News

June News

 

Hello & Welcome back!

 

Updates/What have we been up to?

 

Skye Alexandra House Blog Writer Remi Curtis, personal blog www.beingremi.com has been featured on Kojo Comedian new website The Colour Network under category ‘Most Popular Blog’

 

– Inspiring Butterflies summer workshops will be coming soon! Keep watching for future updates

Be sure to like our Facebook page to be notified off all news, events and updates on Skye Alexandra House

 

Hot Topic

 
This months hot topic is titled: Your Health/Mental Wellbeing – Looking after you.

 

Looking after yourself is so important, we spend so much time focusing on others, our kids, parents, friends, work, school and rarely focus on ourselves. Our Mental and Psychological wellbeing is something we take for granted and it’s not until crisis point when we take action.

 

Managing your stress levels and allowing yourself some ‘me’ time is a recipe for a healthy you. Whether it is work commitments, family, relationship, school, Uni… etc etc… It is always vital to understand the importance of looking after yourself.

 

As some may know, from a previous newsletter, I have just began a new role training as a Psychological wellbeing Practioner, which means providing cognitive behavioral therapy based interventions to those suffering with common mental health problems. I’ve acquired a lot of knowledge already, and this month will be sharing some tips on how to manage stress and look after your health/mental wellbeing.

 

6 Ways to manage Stress:

 

1. Keep a positive realistic attitude, – we can’t control every situation, but we can control how we respond to it. How you think about a situation and event will effect how you feel & behave.

 

2. Say No, when you Can. – If something is not manageable for you, say NO. Don’t take things on which will add to your stress levels.

 

3. Make time for hobbies and Interests – sometimes we become so consumed with life, we forget to do the things we enjoy!

 

4. Stand up for yourself – be polite, respectful when sharing your feelings and beliefs. Instead of becoming angry or defensive.

 

5. Eat better. – Stay away from foods with too much sugar. Try and consume a balanced diet of fruit, veg & protein.

 

6. Don’t overthink situations. – Ask yourself what you can do/change about a situation. Then weigh up the pros and cons and take action if you can.

 

We all have stress in life, because life isn’t something we control. But when stress does arise, are we managing that stress or is it managing you?

 

As cliché as this will sound – Life is too short, enjoy it! Because the next day promises nothing!

 

In The News

 

In the News

• Couple on the run after being convicted of sexual exploitation charges
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621720/Sex-ring-couple-run-boyfriend-took-explicit-photos-teenage-girl-plied-booze-legal-highs-tied-lover-molest-her.html

https://www.juicebrighton.com/news/brighton-news/1988401/two-hove-men-convicted-over-sexual-exploitation-of-girls/

 

• Urgent Inquiry over eight missing children
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-36419152

http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/14482823.New_appeal_made_for_teenage_girls_missing_for_over_three_weeks/

 

• Prostitution is Sexual Exploitation?
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jun/06/prostitution-sex-work-pimp-state-kat-banyard-decriminalisation

 

• Ignoring an epidemic of Child Sexual Abuse in Britain
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/weve-been-ignoring-an-epidemic-of-child-sex-abuse-in-britain/

 

• Ex Deputy Director of Downing Street avoids prison after child images conviction
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36433568

 

Question of the Month

 

I strongly believe a dream/goal/idea should be always backed up with a plan. It gives us something to work towards and also guides us in what steps to take to make it happen. So, for the remainder of the year, lets work on achieving our goals. Write down and answer these questions

 
What are two things I have achieved so far this year? What do I want to achieve for the rest of the year? What steps will I take to make this happen? How will I make this happen & by when?

 

#DearRemi

 

Q: I am struggling to move on from a past relationship, and I keep contacting my last partner even though the relationship is over and he is not good for me. – 22 year old female

 

A: Hey, thank you for sending this to me. Moving on can be quite difficult and is something that takes time. There is no right or wrong answer on how to do so, but there are things that can help. If you are finding it difficult to stop contacting this person, maybe you could try deleting the number – or doing other things to distract yourself? But give yourself time and do what is best for you. Remi x

 

Please keep sending your questions in to [email protected] Subject #DearRemi

 

Any relevant business and advertisement opportunities please contact [email protected]

Skye News

May News

 

Good Evening Readers, Welcome Back to Skye Alexandra House Newsletter. It is the month of May, when the days become warmer and brighter. I hope you all had an excellent April and are excited for what’s to come.

 

Updates/What have we been up to?

 

Skye Alexandra House CSE training taster day @ Kingsdale Secondary School on Tuesday 7th June 10:30am – 12:30pm
(This is aimed at professionals in social care, teachers, nurses/doctors, youth workers, community leaders, churches and all those who work with young people)
• This taster day will be to promote our two-child sexual exploitation-training programme, which will be delivered by those who were once victims of CSE. This training will help you identify signs; risk factors as well as learning what the victim could currently be experiencing and how to ensure you are providing the correct support.
• To Register Email [email protected] with your full name, profession and name of company.
Friday 20th May 2016: Skye Alexandra House will be taking part in VIACOM via-community day. The front and back garden will be getting done by employees of VIACOM – home to MTV, Nickelodeon, Paramount and BET.

 

Hot Topic

 

LABELS & SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

Does everyone know what these two things are? Yes? No?

 

In relation to each other labels and self-fulfilling prophecy are both two things we should all be aware of. But before I get into all of that, I will start by explaining what each is:

 
Labels– ‘labeling theory,’ is the theory of how the self-identity of individuals may be determined or influenced by the terms used to describe or classify them.

 
Self – Fulfilling Prophecy – A ‘prophecy ‘in which you become something you are told. For example, if you are told you’re ignorant, evil and stupid, you will grow up that way because you believed it.

 
I understood this topic when explained to me in a scenario. So, we grow up from a young age being labeled ‘ you are worthless, you will never become anything.’ ‘You are always late to everything, you will never be on time.’ Etc etc

 
The labels that we say to our friends, family, children, and colleagues we say them meaninglessly but words are powerful and words hold a lot of meaning in people’s lives.

 
Even though we shrug it off and act like it doesn’t affect us hearing those negative words over our lives, subconsciously those labels play a big role. Every time you make a mistake, fail at something in life, those labels come into play. You tell yourself ‘see, it’s because I’m worthless. I’m never going to become anything.’ ‘I’ll be late to this interview because I’m always late”
This becomes a cycle and as much as we try to escape it, every failure supports the statement. Supports the negative belief.

 
I dislike labels and I hate to see people label others.
Parents with children, we often hear parents say ‘he/she is so naughty’ ‘he/she will be like this when they are older.’ Let’s stop putting negative thoughts into our children’s minds, our friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Lets replace negative labels with positive attributes.

 
This may sound trivial to you but it very much exists, research online ‘ self-fulfilling prophecies’

Now, some of you reading this may be feeling overwhelmed, as you have experienced negative labeling. It is not the end of the world; do not let those labels become self-fulfilling prophecies.

 
Growing up in secondary school, I was bullied throughout; I was told a lot of negative things about myself. But with age, knowledge, & love I learned to love myself and to turn all of those negatives into a positive. My motivation for a while became ‘I will prove to them and myself, I am not all those negative labels I was called.’

It is time we become aware of the effects our language and words can have. It starts with awareness and ends with a change.

 

Challenge of the Month

 

This month will be challenge. In line with our Hot Topic of: Labels and Self-fulfilling prophecies, some of us may have been subject to this. Some of us may use labels on others everyday. But we want to change that. For 14 days, I want us all to ‘LABEL’ ourselves with something positive. Every morning look in the mirror and tell yourself something good. ‘I will have a great day at work today & make a change.’ ‘I will finally learn how to cook that dish I have always wanted.’ ‘I look really lovely today in my white blouse’

Lets spark Self-Love into existence, 14-Day Challenge, of Self-Love & Positivity.
Start Today! ☺

 

In The News

 

• Council leader implores businesses to help protect Redbridge children from Sexual Exploitation
http://www.ilfordrecorder.co.uk/news/crime-court/council_leader_implores_businesses_to_help_protect_redbridge_children_from_sexual_exploitation_1_4522412

• Police ‘too slow’ to recognise exploitation of girls in Bristol
http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/mar/24/police-serious-case-review-exploitation-girls-in-bristol

• Jamaica has one of the highest rates of child sex abuse in the world, but the subject is rarely spoken of. Watch ‘Jamaica’s silent Children’ http://bit.ly/1PPmg82

• Three teen girls from East London college disappear after planning to ‘go away together’ http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/three-teen-girls-same-east-7889998

• Missing young girl In Lewisham http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/14467420._High_risk__teenage_girl_missing_from_Lewisham/

 

#DearRemi

 

We have not received any questions this month to feature in the newsletter, please continue to email in any questions you have to –[email protected]
Take advantage of our support with your queries & questions.

Skye News

April News

 

Hello, friends, ladies, supporters, thank you for checking back on this Month’s newsletter. We are ¼ of the way into 2016 how is everyone feeling? Around this time, I like to check on how well I’m doing this year so far, have I achieved any goals? Am I actively working towards a goal? Do you remember in January’s newsletter the HOT TOPIC was about achieving goals? How is that going so far for everyone? It’s always good to check yourself and assess how you are doing….

 

Updates/What have we been up to?

 

On Sunday 3rd April our founder Sherica Spence took part in a discussion on child sexual exploitation on BBC London radio with Dotun Adebayo. The panel included our partners Dilys Sillah from Who Will Hear My Cry, Janice Nix and Skye Alexandra House ambassador Arfa Butt

Dare To Be Different Event taking place Sunday 10th April 2016 2pm-6pm at Pop Brixton.The theme will be around sexual exploitation and through this event we hope to create awareness to parents and young people.
For Tickets, Please Click on our EventBrite Page. Not to be Missed.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dare-to-be-different-tickets-24154139682

Skye Alexandra House writer, Remi Curtis. Has been given the opportunity of a new job role to become a Psychological Well-being Practitioner.

• Skye Alexandra House have begun a new movement #AntiRunnersStopCSE Here at Skye Alexandra house we are passionate and dedicated about issues such as sexual exploitation. Read our Blog article to find out more & Join the movement. WE NEED YOU. http://www.skyealexandrahouse.co.uk/antirunnerstopcse/
 

Hot Topic

 

This months hot topic is short and sweet on: Giving up/Perseverance

 

Giving up always seems like the easier option when life or things get difficult isn’t it? Many times in my life, I have wanted to and have given up on something because the outcome seemed too difficult.

 

Perseverance is a very admirable quality and something we all need to adopt. We need to change our mindset and become resilient to hard work and difficult times. If everything were easy, everyone would be doing it right?

 

In my final year of university, I wanted to give up. The workload was increasing and I was falling behind. The easiest option for myself was to quit. Catching up and putting in the extra work seemed too much of a difficult task. Luckily through motivation from my parents, friends and the church I continued on, and today I have a degree and on the way to an excellent Job.

 

So, to the young girl, young lady and young woman reading this today. Work on your resilience, work on your perseverance; get rid of your attitude of giving up.

 

A wise person once told me “you can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can’t have it”

 

Question of the Month

 

When faced with difficulties in life, What are some of the strategies you use to motivate yourself? Let us know in the comments below. – Sharing an experience/advice could help someone in your similar situation

 

In The News

 

http://www.theguardian.com/social-care-network/2016/apr/04/child-sexual-exploitation-stereotypes-rotherham

 

http://www.southlondon-today.co.uk/article.cfm?id=116463&headline=Police%20appeal%20for%20help%20to%20find%20missing%20teenager&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2016

 

http://www.communitycare.co.uk/2016/03/18/top-tips-prevent-raise-awareness-child-sexual-exploitation/

 

#DearRemi

 

We have not received any questions this month to feature in the newsletter, please continue to email in any questions you have to –[email protected]
Take advantage of our support with your queries & questions.

 

Message From The Founder

 

To work on the front line with vulnerable young women, you need to have a different kind of strength and peace within yourself and confidence in God’s word.

 

Currently, I work with young women who are (or have been) in care, those coming from a dysfunctional background, those who have been sexually abused, sexually exploited, those who have been self harming, those who have suffered from domestic violence, those who are mentally challenged, those who are so much a product of their environment that to them their life is just a way of living (and nothing wrong in it).

 

It takes months/years to work and deal with a young person who is so emotionally and mentally cultivated by their environment that at times you as a person will get rejected from them, they will take the mick, they will challenge, they will raise voice, shout/scream, cuss sometimes try to fight (praise God I have not experienced that one), threaten you but I am realizing this is all their defense mechanism this is how they cope. Years of abuse and rejection hardens the heart that you begin to expect that people will hurt you that you expect them not to hang around for long. But do you know when their hearts start to soften? When they see no matter how much they act up you are still there trying to help them, you are still there providing them with opportunities that you are consistent with them……..this shows them that you care.

 

Some of these young people are being raised by parents who could not buy a clue even if you gave them the answers right in their face.
Why? Because just like the child they have raised, they too are the product of their environment, the fact they too saw the world affected all their choices and decisions. It is a vicious cycle! Some parents break it and use their bad childhood to become parents but unfortunately for some they didn’t have support, they didn’t have friends to encourage them, they are so mentally and emotionally scarred by their own childhood that they don’t know how to be the parent their child needs they think I will be their friend instead, I won’t have no rules or boundaries. This is it. So the kids are being raised by what they see on tv or their friends hold more importance in their lives then their own parents.

 

Since working in social care I see a lot, I feel a lot every night I say a prayer for whatever family or young person I encounter that day. Cause I’m telling you life is not Love and Hip Hop, Life is not Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Life is not the Real Housewives. Life is when you step out side your front door, life is that kid you see in morleys who only has £1 to buy chicken and chips and is begging the man to let him off, Life is the kids in the streets you see fighting because to them it is the survival of the fittest. Life is the mother you see arguing with her kids. But many of us are doing this bystander effect we look and walk away because oh no I need not get involved it is not my life. But what if it came to your home, what if it became your life? Some of us are in positions to help these families, to mentor young people. If you don’t have a personal experience you can show them what life can be like for them if they are willing to change, some just need someone to believe in them enough until they start believing in themselves, some need opportunities, do you know the difference you would make in a family if you was able to provide a mum or dad with a job?

 

Some people I see talk about doing this work but don’t actually do anything they ain’t on the front line with these kids and their families, they ain’t at court with them, they ain’t down the police station standing with the parent or even being the appropriate adult for that kid, they don’t see the tears these mothers cry the anger of the dads when they want to knock a child out for harming their child. They don’t hear the kids saying they need money but don’t want to be dead.

 

No they are at the events talking about things, smiling taking photos, having interviews etc. But put them in a room with a young person and their facety mother and see how quick that family tears them apart. Because one thing these families and kids are skilled in is spotting a fake. They know real when they see it, they can see when some one is genuinely there to help them and not exploit their situation.

 

So today I leave you with this, be mindful to those around you and if you are able to help someone to do so even if it is the old lady living next door to you with her shopping.

 

Our make up as humans is so much more then our DNA everyone is the way they are because of some pain, insecurity in which they are still dealing with, The 50 year old woman comparing herself to an 20 year old because in her eyes she looks better them could still be dealing with issues of rejection and seeks others approval and validation. The young man who is so flashy with his name brand can deep down believe that that is the only way people is going to like him.
We all have stuff in which we are dealing with whether it be in secret or in the open. I am not saying that people are not going to annoy us cause we are all humans but if you are in that frame of mind you will see after they have got on your last nerves that something could be wrong. Talk, listen, reflect, grow and love.

 

Sherica Spence ( Founder of Skye Alexandra House)

 

Thank you for reading and your continued support with Skye Alexandra House, see you next month!

12935368_10154055479261798_166167562_nteamdare to be differentAny relevant business and advertisement opportunities please contact [email protected]

#AntiRunnerSStopCSE


#AntiRunnersStopCSE

 

We now live in a society that is highly focused & driven on making money. Our young people lack the confidence, knowledge and experience to seek legitimate ways of making money. Our young people are also not given the opportunities to seek legitimate ways of earning money.

 

It is no wonder that from a young age many young people try and make money by any means necessary.

 

As we are aware, a lot of young girls are going missing lately, away from the safety of friends & family. Through group discussions and awareness we have learned that some young women who tend to go missing are going to ‘COUNTRY’
This means they are doing illegal drug runs for older guys, gangs etc. Putting their lives & futures at risk.

 

With the rise of Young Women being sexually exploited, we at Skye Alexandra House are committed and passionate to make a change, today.

 

Skye Alexandra House, will begin a two day HASHTAG #AntiRunnersStopCSE to raise awareness on young women who are going missing and being exploited.

 

Please join us in this movement, we would love you to take a picture with your trainers or sneakers on with the HASHTAG #AntiRunnersStopCSE then, Tag us @SkyeAlexHse on FaceBook or Twitter!

 

Let’s spread the word & raise awareness

 

#AntiRunnersStopCSE

Skye News

March News

 

Hello again, welcome back to Skye Alexandra House Monthly Newsletter – where you will learn more about what we are up to, upcoming events, question & answer and hot topics.

 

Updates/What have we been up to?

 

• We have had our First young person move into Skye Alexandra House, we endeavour to make sure her time with us is empowering, inspiring and she leaves with excellent foundations & skills to have a fruitful life.
• No #DearRemi Video this month, as we have been really busy at Skye Alexandra House.
• A Big Thank –You to ‘SAFER LONDON’ for delivering insightful sexual exploitation training. We love expanding and building on our knowledge at Skye Alexandra House
• Our Founder and Director, Sherica Spence will be a keynote speaker at Harrow Council International Women’s Day event, for their council staff members. Here she will be sharing her Journey, Skye Alexandra House & the amazing work done so far by our team and partners.
SKYE ALEXANDRA HOUSE OPEN DAY – Please share, tell a friend to tell a friend. On Wednesday 16th March 2016 @ 1pm. Come along & view our semi-independent residential home which provides 24hr care to vulnerable young women aged 16-18.
You can also learn more about other services provided!
To register your attendance, please send your full name and Job role/title to [email protected]
Inspiring Butterflies Easter Half Term Programme: Tuesday 29th March – Friday 8th April 2016. Taking place at Pop Brixton. 10am-2pm
Workshops delivered by some of our partners include: Opening Up To the True You (self awareness), Exploring and Identifying positive relationships, Kickboxing, Upholstery, Drama, Music, Dance, Sexual Exploitation/Social Media/ Domestic Violence Awareness and Enterprise. With a celebration event at the end!
Inspiring butterflies is open to young females aged 13-17. For more info and to register email: [email protected]
• We will also be holding a fundraising event: DARE TO BE DIFFERENTOn Sunday 10th April @ Pop Brixton. Keep a look out for more info
• We have been awarded funding of £300 from Galaxy Hot chocolate fund for Skye Alexandra House. Keep a look out for the press release on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/skyealexandrahouse

 

Actions

 

Please vote for Skye Alexandra House!! We have been nominated for ‘A National diversity award in the category (community organisations award) href=”https://nominate.nationaldiversityawards.co.uk/nominate/endorse/29697″>https://nominate.nationaldiversityawards.co.uk/nominate/endorse/29697

 

Hot Topic

 

This months hot topic is on: Self – respect/Saying ‘NO’

 

I decided to write on this subject as I feel as young women/ladies it is something we need to be comfortable with.

 

I am 24 years old and now at a place where I can recognise and also identify when I need to respect myself and say No in situations. I do not like to put myself in situations where I may feel uncomfortable and will not be able to say no.

 

I remember about 3 years ago I began dating this guy, things were going really well and he wanted to take it to the next level. By next level, I mean he wanted to be intimate. (Sex) This was something I did not want to do, and I was able to explain that to him. He wasn’t happy with that I had said and he made lots of attempts to change my mind, eventually he gave up and moved on & we stopped seeing each other.

 

Yes, it was upsetting because I liked the friendship/relationship I had with this guy and because I rejected his attempts our relationship deteriorated. But at the same time I was proud that I was strong enough to say no & respect my own beliefs and wishes.

 

Have you ever been in a situation that has made you feel uncomfortable and you have been afraid to say ‘no’?

 

In regards to sexual relationships and acts we have to always remember we are in control of our bodies. You should never be made to feel like you have to do something you do not want to do. Everyday I tell myself I am a queen and my body is a temple, so when someone comes along that doesn’t treat me in that way, I can move on.

 

Self – respect is very important.

 

We have to respect others but also ourselves, our body, our mind & our actions.

 

We have to respect ourselves by what we do, how we act & what we say. We wouldn’t hurt, bully, pressure and upset those we respect. So we should never allow anyone to do that to us. Sometimes we have to say NO.

 

We have to learn to say ‘NO’ without explaining ourselves, & remember we only have to answer to ourselves.

 

 

Question of the Month

 

Here is Jays Story:
• This is a real account from a young lady who was a victim of sexual exploitation. Half of our young girl’s don’t know when they are being targeted. Have a look at this video and tell us the signs you have spotted? (in the comments below)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6vYbZSUL5U

(This video is one we use in our inspiring butterflies workshop)

 

In The News

 

Consultation on a new Child Sexual Exploitation Definition:https://www.gov.uk/government/news/consultation-on-a-new-child-sexual-exploitation-definition
Child sexual exploitation sings
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/abuse/Pages/child-sexual-exploitation-signs.aspx
Lambeth carer jailed for child abuse
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35316685
Husband who abused wife for years finally jailed
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/bullying-husband-who-abused-threatened-7470973
Help and advice whenever you need it
http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/parenting/where-can-young-parents-go-for-support/

 

#DearRemi

 

Please continue to send your questions in to [email protected] Subject #DearRemi
As of next month we will also be filming our question and answers through video from Skye Alexandra House.

 

Q: Hi, Remi. I am struggling with my confidence. In terms of my looks I never feel like I look nice or I am good enough. 21 year old Female.
A: Hello, thank you for sending this in. Self-confidence is very important. It is something I struggled with once too. I understand how you may feel. Especially when we see women/girls on social networks that look ‘perfect.’ I believe it starts with our thinking, if we think positive things about ourselves we often find we start to believe and accept these things too. Our thoughts affect how we feel, our behaviors and our mood. You will never look like anyone else; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A little tip I will share with you is, write down 5 things you love about yourself and stick these on your wall. When you get up in the morning read those 5 things out loud.

 

Thank you for reading and all your continued support with Skye Alexandra House, tell a friend to tell a friend about all the positive work we do! Have a great month of love.

 
Any relevant business and advertisement opportunities please contact [email protected]

Skye News

February News

 

Hello readers, welcome back. Can’t believe we are already one month into the New Year, hasn’t it gone by so quickly? SkyeAlexandra House has been up to so much this month and we have a lot more to come soon.

 

Updates/What have we been up to?

 

Inspiring Butterflies – No workshops till Easter Half Term, register for your place today! – [email protected]
Young offending training – Some members of Skye Alexandra House took part in mosaic networking youth offending training on the 31st January at Belmarsh Prison. As we are looking to start working with young male and female youth offenders, focusing on helping them rehabilitate back into society, build confidence and achieve. The staff had a great time, & learned a lot about youth offending!
www.mosaicnetwork.co.uk
Open Day – SkyeAlexandra House will be hosting an Open Day in March, a chance for you all to come and see our premises. Stay tuned for more info.
International Women’s Day Event – Our director Sherica Spence, will be given a motivational speech to women & young people at Harrow Civic Centre on Tuesday 8th March, 10am-1pm. Come down & show support!

 

Hot Topic

 

This month’s hot topic is about LOVE, as we approach February, with Valentine’s Day around the corner. I felt nothing more of an appropriate theme.

What is Love? Is the question I hear you ask, well Love is a feeling and emotion that you get when you have a connection & strong attachment with someone/something. I feel love is a concept that cannot be easily described. But when you feel it, you will know it. A friend once told me, Love is a feeling you will have forever. When you love something or someone, you will NEVER stop loving that thing or person. Do you agree? Love can be measured by our actions and thoughts towards a person, when you love someone you find you want the best for that person. Seeing that person happy also makes you feel happy. Doesn’t love sound so wonderful?
Love vs Lust? Sometimes we confuse love with lust. Lust is a strong sexual desire; it is purely a physical attraction. That is something a lot of us confuse, because someone may show infatuation and attraction towards us, also added with nice actions and words we feel that person loves us. Don’t confuse the two. If you have to question this, it probably isn’t love. I can definitely admit that the person I thought I was ‘in love’ with at 16 was definitely not love and merely just lust, and that revelation has only come through hindsight.
Story time – I spoke with a colleague who explained she did not want to fall in love again because she was afraid of being hurt. I can relate to this 100%, sometimes love does result in pain – when someone we love does not show the same back. When someone we love, shows actions that do not express love. For example when someone we love abuses, lies, cheats, exploits etc. But I asked her these questions: ‘When being in love how did you feel?’ She said Amazing. I asked: ‘So that Amazing feeling, isn’t it worth finding again?’ Those questions I asked really made her ponder. Love is a big risk, but when it is found is a wonderful thing!

 

Question of the Month

 

To those who stay up- to- date with the news, social issues, & celebrity news. You will have definitely seen a popular interview that has sparked a lot of controversy, regarding Stacey Dash.
Stacey dash is an African -American female Actress who made a comment on Fox News stating that, there should be no longer be events such as the ‘BET Awards’, and ‘Black History Month.’
Her reasons for this were because, she felt we should be moving towards integration & avoid segregation by separating blacks & white ethnic groups.
If you would like to watch the full interview click the link below – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4Mzq-Jtmk
Leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts on this issue?

 

In The News

 

• Teenage pregnancy rate continues to fall: http://www.londonspovertyprofile.org.uk/indicators/topics/health/underage-pregnancy/
• Lambeth Child Sex offender Jailed: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35325295
• New TV Advert to increase awareness of sexual exploitation through online social media: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-35428732
• London gangs force girls to think group sex is ‘normal’: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/gangs-force-girls-to-think-group-sex-is-normal-home-office-report-warns-a3155501.html
• Dramatic rise in Child Sex Exploitation, Barnardos urgent appeal for funds: http://www.slp.co.uk/article.cfm?id=115858

 

Ask Remi

 

Q: I have had sex with the same person for a long time, now we are over the thought of sleeping with someone else scares me is this Normal? 23 year old female
A: Hi, this is very normal. Sometimes we fear things we do not know, you have been sleeping with the same person for a long time & this was something you were used to. You were most probably really comfortable with that partner, open with each – other and able to communicate your sexual needs effectively. My advice to you is to wait, take your time and wait till you are ready. Your next sexual partner should be someone you are completely confident and comfortable with – it would be a good idea to communicate these feelings to him! So you both can work out a way to make things easier for you.

 

Q: I’m always broke before the end of the month, how do I manage my money better in order for me to save and still have money left at the end of the month? 24 year old female
A: Hiya, managing money can be very difficult. Especially if you are not taught how too! It is a skill that we need to learn, just like learning to read or drive a car. In this situation the best advice I can give to you is to start budgeting. Budget how much and what you will need for the month! Also start prioritizing; Is saving more important to you than shopping? Is having enough money for lunch more important than having that new handbag? Be strict with yourself, and remember it will take time. No one becomes an expert in something overnight. For extra help check out my personal blog post on money managing – http://beingremi.com/2015/12/13/get-rich-or-die-tryin/

 

Q: I want to move up in the workplace but don’t feel its happening quick enough, I’m considering leaving, should I wait it out or take the plunge and apply for more advanced jobs in other businesses? 24 year old female
A: Hiya, a very tough one! One thing I can say about myself is that I can be very inpatient. If I want something I want it now! But in life sometimes we need to exercise patience to wait and allow the wonderful things that are coming our way to happen! Are you doing everything you can in your workplace to the best of your ability? Try and find ways to show managers/supervisors that you are committed and can perform at a higher level. Start going above and beyond consistently. If you are already doing all of that, maybe it is time to move on. Maybe your talents will be appreciated elsewhere. I’m a firm believer in taking risks
– Risk allows you to feel powerful and proactive, making things happen rather than waiting for them to happen to you.
– Risk allows you to conquer your fears
– Risk allows you to grow and discover new things about yourself and the world, to develop your strengths and talents.

 

Q: I find that I am a very confident person but when speaking to guys/flirting I can’t help but feel shy and silly, how can I become dating savvy? 20 year old female
A: Hey girl, I totally understand where you are coming from! I have not had a lot of experience in relationships, dating etc myself, which means sometimes I overthink and don’t know how to act when trying to flirt/date and also become very shy. My advice to you hun is to be completely natural, the more you practice the easier it will become. Confidence is also very key, before you approach the guy you fancy – boost yourself up a bit; tell yourself ‘I’m wonderful and amazing, of course this guy will want to speak with me!’ If you’re tongue gets tied when speaking to an attractive man that’s completely normal, you are not the only one who feels this way!

 

Q: I have found I have become increasingly more and more interested in porn, how do I stop this?
A: Hey, thanks for getting in touch. Porn is a very sensitive subject that many don’t like speaking about, so it was very brave of you to come forward. I know from research that Porn can become very addictive, which is probably why you are finding the urge to watch it more and more. Many studies have found porn has an escalating effect similar to a drug. Many porn users tend to reach a point where certain images or acts are no longer stimulating and they need to seek a new extreme to get the same rush. Which leads down a hard path. It is very addictive to the point studies have shown that porn consumption is linked to sexual aggression. Porn is also very unrealistic and abusive and makes you think that type of behavior is acceptable.
I don’t mean to scare you my dear, I just want to give you all the information you need to make an informed decision. Stop whilst you can, and don’t be ashamed to seek help if you need it! Seeking help and accepting when you need it, is one of the bravest things you can do!

 

Please do not hesitate to keep sending your questions in. They will remain anonymous and be responded to via email within 48 hours of being received & also featured in the monthly newsletters.

Thank you guys for reading and all your support with SkyeAlexandra House, tell a friend to tell a friend about all the positive work we do! Have a great month of love.

 
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Skye News

January

 

Happy New Year to all! It’s the beginning of 2016 and I’m so excited to start this newsletter. My name is Remi and I am a new writer for Skye Alexandra House & I cant wait to bring some inspiring, uplifting & exciting information to your eyes. This newsletter will be updated once a month, so be sure to watch this space! Read More